Eclipse Trailer Spoof
by CarlitosLover
Summary: A spoof of the teaser, trailer and a clip for "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" I DO NOT OWN THE SPOOF EVIL IGUANA PRODUTIONS OWN IT!


Eclipse Trailer Spoof.

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: _EVEN THOUGH I KNOW SOME PEOPLE DON'T READ THESE CUZ I'M ONE OF THEM, BUT YOU HAVE TO READ THIS._**\/

**I just wanted to let you guys know that i don't own this, I saw it on **_youtube _**and i just wanted to tell you it if you haven't seen it. It is by **_EvilIguanaProdutions_**. They are hilarious and they wrote this whole thing. I thought it was sooo funny that i just had to put it on here. When you finish reading this you have to watch the video. I'll put the link on the bottom. Don't forget to R&R and tell me what you think.**

* * *

Edward's voice narrated. "Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment, 'till you turn about sixty," Bella and Edward were in their meadow. Edward lying down and Bella was leaning on him. "'Cause you'll start to look really old and it would look pretty messed up to be seen with you in public, since ill be young and attractive still." Bella and Edward awkwardly hug and pull away. Bella then turns away and rubs her arm as Edward puts one of his arms behind his head and then puts in on his hip and looks at her butt.

* * *

Jane, Alec, Felix, and Demetri walk into a meadow and talk to the Cullen's "She's still human the Volutri don't give second chances," Jane says. She looks at Felix as she continues, "though we do give do over's." Felix nods in agreement.

* * *

Bella and Edward are now lying on Bella's bed talking. "Why are you so against me becoming like you?" Bella asks.

"I know the consequences of the choice you're making. After a few decades everyone you know will be dead." Edward responds.

_Flashback_

Bella walks by the school with a tennis racket and passes Mike, Eric and Tyler. **(A/N: I know its School Creeps, but it made more sense for these.)**

"Yo, Bella! Hate to see you go." Eric starts.

"Love to watch you leave." Tyler finishes.

"Nice!"Mike said and low fived them." I got some tennis balls," he grabbed his balls, "for ya if you want it." Bella rolls her eyes and walks away.

Bella is now sitting in a chair in the library reading a book. Mike stands next to her watching her as he absentmindedly flips threw his pages in the book he holds. "Can I find you in a card catalogue 'cause I'd like to check you out." He raises his and leans back a little. "Ohhhhhhh!" Bella looks up and bits her lip and gets up closing her book and walks the other way.

_End of Flashback_

"That sounds good to me." Bella shrugged looking back at Edward.

* * *

Bella is at the beach with Jacob. "You wouldn't have to change for me, Bella. Course you would have to worry about me going crazy and turning into a werewolf, then me ripping your face off. But I want you to choose me instead." Jacob said.

Bella shakes her head with a crooked frown "Yeah, um, I- I don't- I don't know."

Bella is trying to walk away but Jacob is on the ground on his stomach grabbing on to her leg. "Bella just choose me! Please, Bella! Choose me! Come on, Bella! No! Bella, please! Why don't you choose me?"

"Jacob, don't make me get the spray bottle. Jacob, heal, heal! Bad, bad, bad, Jacob!" They were both yelling at the same time.

* * *

_It All Begins With a Choice_

* * *

Jacob and Edward are standing next to across from each other at a playground. "You might have to consider the idea that I'm better for her then you are." Jacob starts.

"Oh, yeah? Well can you do this?" Edward counters. He looks up and grabs onto the monkey bars and does a very lame pull up. "One. Oh yeah."  
Does another one. "Two." He starts panting and breathing deep.

"…98, 99, 100, 101." Jacob does his pull ups flawlessly.

"4." Edward pulls up again.

"Oh, come on, I'll pick you up." Jacob rapes his legs around Edward's and boasts him up while he's still pull upping.

"Oh, hey! That helps." Edward says.

* * *

Jacob approached Bella and Edward at school. "Jacob what are you doing here?" Bella asks.

"I'm here to warn you." He looks at Edward.

"You should leave. Now." Edward threatened him.

"She has the right to know." Jacob still looking at Edward.

"What?" Bella looks between the two.

"I beat him in a pull up contest, one more reason," Jacob looks at Bella and shrugs, "why you should choose me." Edward rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips.

* * *

Edward's voice narrates as they show Riley running through an alley and looking back. "We've been tracking the situation in Seattle for a while now; tax increases, budget cuts."

"Ow!" Riley holds up his hand as someone bit it.

Shows Edward and Bella in a room and Bella sitting in a chair and Edward on the couch. "Oh, and the killings." He points to nothing.

"W-w-w-w-w-wait? Budget cuts? Whose budget's getting cut?" Bella shakes her head looking confused and angry.

"What? No, in Seattle. That doesn't affect … I'm talking about killings here, ok?" Edward answered.

Edward is now holding a map and pinching the bridge of his nose. Bella is flipping through a book. "For the last time, Seattle's here." He points to Seattle on the map. "And no way is that close enough for their economic problems to directly affect you."

"No, no, no right here." She points to something in her book. "Trickle down Economics It says I'm directly affected." Edward drops the map and lets his face fall into his hands as Bella says this.

"God, Damn. Ok."

She goes to the end of her book. "Just look at the definition of Economics the study of how wealth is created and distributed. Who's going to distribute me my wealth?"

"Ok, fine!" He raises his hands in defeat.

* * *

They are now in the Cullen house. "Someone's creating an army." Carlisle said, looking at Bella and Edward.

"Wait, an army of vampires?" Bella said. It goes to showing Riley with his army walking through the grass and stopping at the lake. Riley looks at the camera. "What so, do they want to hang out or …" It goes back to Bella talking.

"Their coming for you," Alice explains to Bella.

* * *

Riley and his army are now arguing over where to go pointing at a map they hold in their hands. "Where the hell are we?"

"You want to go that way."

"Are we by the highway?"

"We want to go that way."

"North is that way so we go there."

"That way."

"That way."

"Is that North?"

"No, no. North is defiantly not there, it's here."

Riley looks at the back of the map as they continue to argue, "Why does this map say Illinois?" He asks.

* * *

Bella is in the meadow and then it shows a girl on the ground clutching her head. Carlisle narrates. "This means an ugly fight, with lives lost." It goes to Carlisle talking, "I'll try to save as many as I can, 'cause I'm a doctor."

"We're in, as long as we get to kill some vampires." Jacob says looking at Edward.

Edward scoffs and crosses his arms looking away. "Dick."

Jacob looks out the window, "Squirrel!" He runs to the window and hits it and falls down. He gets back up and cracks his neck. "It wasn't a squirrel, it was a leaf. Yeah."

* * *

Riley and his gang rise up out of the lake and walk up on to land as they do so everyone besides Riley trip and fall. They stand at the end of the lake. Riley is panting and talking to three members of their group who didn't go in the water and are standing on a path. "Where'd you go? The plan was the lake. We're supposed to look like badasses." Riley says.

The boy answers, "See you got the lake because you used _MapQuest_ we used _Google"_ He pulls the phone out of his pocket, "and we find this great path we didn't even have to go in the lake."He laughs along with the two girls.

" I'm the leader. I'm in charge." Riley points to himself. "I said the lake." He points at the lake.

* * *

_From the World Wide Bestseller_

* * *

The four Volturi members are standing on a building. "It's time." Felix says.

"Yes, it is." Jane answers.

* * *

The newborns are running towards the Cullen Clan as they run toward the newborns. They collide and it shows Alice slowing down to a walk and she wipes her hand across her forehead, "It's too humid for this."

* * *

_The Motion Picture Phenomenon_

* * *

Alice runs up to a boy and slaps him, another vampire comes at her, she slaps him. She grabs a girl by the shoulders then slaps her. Then she just stands there and a girl is running up behind her. Alice puts her hand back, flipping her hair and slaps the girl who yells "Ah!" and walks away.

* * *

_The World is Waiting For_

* * *

Victoria is standing by a tree. Then it shows the battle again. Victoria is now trying to climb the tree, but she can't grab onto the branch. She disappears and returns with a ladder. She gets onto the tree and looks over her shoulder. Edward and Bella are standing in the meadow, Bella runs and stops with her fists in front of her. Edward runs in the opposite direction with his legs kicking out to the side. He runs to the tree Victoria climbed and pushes it. Nothing happened. He pulls back and wipes his hands on his pants. He pushes it again. Nothing happened again. He wipes his hands again. He pokes the tree with his hand and steps back. He looks up and then notices the ladder. He grabs the ladder and puts it under his arm.

"Yeah! What now?" He puts his hand up, "Got your ladder!" He starts to walk away and looks back up at her, "Ain't so tough now."

* * *

A dog is on Emmett. He is bitting his foot. "AH! Same team! AH! Same team!"

* * *

_The Twilight Saga: Eclipse_

* * *

"We're Vampires!" Some dude yelled from below the Volturi as they stand on a building.

"They've already drown too much attention." Alec says.

"So has our inaction. Others will start to question the Volturi's effectiveness." Felix says.

"Let them." Jane says.

Felix walks to the back of them. "Perhaps we should consult with Aro."

Jane turns around and Felix leans back in pain. "Aro's decisions are being watched."

Felix drops to his knees and yells "What are you doing to me?" He starts laughing all happily, "Stop playing with my emotions!" Suddenly it just changes to him crying. Jane is looking at him confused as he says, "The world hates me." Then he yells it louder, "The world hates me!" Demetri walks up to Felix and places his hand on his shoulder. Alec looks at Jane and Jane looks at him back.

"I thought you could only cause pain." Alec asks her.

"I can," She shakes her head looking back at Felix. "He's doing all this himself."

Felix looks up at Demetri and grabs his hand, he then stands up and takes off his cape and grabs Demetri's leg. "She's doing this to me!" Demetri is trying to crawl away, but Felix has his leg. "She's doing this, it isn't me!" Jane looks like she is about to barf and she puts her hand over her mouth and walks away. The screen goes dark and all you hear is: "Wowee, Wowee!" From Felix.

* * *

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Thank you for reading i hope you laughed like i did! haha!

**Link: http : / www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch ? v = Audn5pqJ6q **

Take the spaces and fill in where i put the dot things, Thank you.

~AlexisLovesSterlingKnight


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